It's just so noisy out there.

In the late hours of the night I was thinking of things I wished I could put a mute switch on at the moment.  Just a few things that irritate me right now but don't always cause a shudder or gusty "UGH!"  And, as you have witnessed before, I like lists.

• cows
• frogs
• tv. Oh wait, they DO have a mute
• dishwashers
• ceiling fans
• phones ringing
• large groups of youths 
• men that talk really loudly in cafes
• people that yell into their phones on the train
• scratching from inside the bedroom walls (don't worry, it's birds and not a psychopath)
• my boss
• bats
• jack hammers
• burps
• sniffing
• clicking pens
• the keyboard in the office at work
• people on public transport that complain about how much better they can do things than others.  (apparently they can do everything better than everyone else but have no need to prove it because they just told you how good they are and you should believe them)

Needless to say, I'm a little sound sensitive at the moment.  This could be due to the fact that I haven't properly slept for nearly a year.

Interestingly enough, I like the sound of clocks ticking.   It gives me a sense of all is right with the world and everything is moving along as it should be.  Hearing birds issues the same feelings.  Completely unreasonable and nonsensical, I know.

Are you miserable?

In my travels last year I found a quirky little book called 11,002 Things To Be Miserable About by Lia and Nick Romeo.  

Evil sorcerers
Being a third wheel
Social obligations
Adolescent eye rolling
Charismatic villains
The file on you that may exist in some government office somewhere
Condescension
Buck teeth
Knowing how uninteresting your thoughts are
The silent machinations of your enemies
Teachers who justify their cruelty by saying they are preparing students for the real world
Men who shave their chests
Pretentious melancholy
Sad people who look like frogs
Visible sneeze particles
Grim librarians
Taking the road not taken and getting eating by a grizzly
Untalented children of celebrities who become famous singers
Weirdly shaped baby heads

Longing, dreaming, wishing.

I often have story ideas floating around in my head. When I say often, I mean constantly. My frustration is that I don't always have the opportunity to get them down on paper.  These ideas usually pop into my mind when I witness something in my day, have a flashback due to a sight or smell, or during a discussion, although many times I have woken through the night with an idea from a dream or something marvellous will burst forth when I'm in the shower.  Have they invented a waterproof notepad yet?  I would love to have the luxury of countless hours to wile away my time creating plots, inventing characters and generally embellishing on my many ideas.  I have note books of point form lists for stories that sit in my drawer.  They remain colourless grey-blue lists when the books are closed but when I open up to any of these ideas they immediately take on a soft, warm, pink hue and beckon me to cast aside my responsibilities and everyday plans (including my job).   Tempting but not realistic.    My ideal environment for writing contains sunshine, a gentle breeze, lavender oil burning, the delightful call of wrens, wagtails, magpies and finches.  Throw in a moo or bah and let the juices flow!  I always dream of coming into money (don't we all).  I know exactly what I would do.  Quit my job, buy myself the perfect house in the most perfect location (pretty much where I am now but with a house that isn't actually falling apart from old age) and spend my days immersed in the world of words.   I think I could spare a day for art.   Alas!   If only I had a wealthy relative or actually spent money on lottery tickets!
I must always remember to look on the bright side of life (yes, go ahead and whistle).
I work part time so that I can write on my days off.
I have a wonderful family encouraging me to continue my studies and to hurry up and get published!
I live in an inspiring location.
I have so many ideas to use that I will never run out.
You know what they say: Keep on keeping on.

Spring Spring Spring

I am thoroughly enjoying spring time at the moment.   Birds are singing, baby animals are frolicking in the grass with their newborn friends and the flowers are displaying all their glory.  Several chicks should hatch from eggs and a baby goat should be bouncing around our legs anytime now.
What more could you ask for?

The mulberries are ripening and Mum and I have been madly picking them before the birds swoop in and eat all the good ones.  You have to be quick and the best way to stay on top is to pick them everyday.  So every afternoon after work we head outside with buckets in hand and pick pick pick.  You may have stained fingers but it's well worth the effort for a mulberry pie at the end of the day.      

We have been enjoying the biggest, sweetest strawberries which we buy from a local strawberry farmer.  Every year we watch in anticipation for the strawberry sign to change from closed to open and when this happens we are there with our money in hand waiting to buy our delicious strawberries.  The strawberry in the middle is the average supermarket size. 

Wisteria blossom has burst forth and sends a gentle fragrance through the open windows of our house.

We have also had quite a bit of rain which fills our paddocks up with water.  I like to think that for periods of time we have"lake views" or that we live in the lakes district.

Ah Correspondence! 2

My Dearest Sister,

So good of you to extend an invitation to a weekend of frivolity at your residence.   I thoroughly enjoyed myself, however I found it a slight inconvenience to myself that your housekeeping staff were absent.  If you so choose to extend an invitation again I would appreciate your help being present as we should enjoy ourselves more so with than without.    One does like to enjoy oneself without the burden of maintaining a home.
I shall regale you with tales from home for a period of time.  Mother is, at present, following the history of the royals which she finds fascinating, however I fear it will eventually become an obsession.  Father has completed his home duties for the evening and continually threatens to retire for the night, much to Mother's disgust.  She bemoans how tiresome it is to have a husband who retires so soon, barely after the supper meal.    They are currently hashing out who will make the most steps toward the other to receive affection.   I believe Mother has won out as Father has had to bend at the waist to give affection to Mother on the chaise which we all know takes great effort.
Before we part via this letter, I would like to invite you and your husband to my manor where we will partake in the evening repast then travel to Baron Von Brenners's chateau for a light supper.    This will be held on Saturday the 2nd of September 2006.   I would dearly love to have you in attendance as an evening bereft of your company is not to be spent in revelry.   Please respond posthaste or I shall have to resort to inviting people I do not care for purely to have the correct numbers at my table.   I await your response eager anticipation.

With much affection,
Your Sister.

What are they thinking?

As I said in a previous post, I love my parents.  However, I wish they would stop doing something that I think is a little dorky and lends itself to old age status.   Whenever they go on holidays they always bring back a souvenir.  Not just any souvenir but one that is, according to them, both decorative and functional.      It's a mug.  Recently they went to New York and brought back not one but two mugs.  Not only did they bring back two mugs but one is giant size.  It's ridiculous.   I am constantly clearing out all the decent size mugs to accommodate these hideous, giant mugs.    They don't just get them from overseas but also from their trips in Australia.  Dad likes to have a good size mug for all the soup he consumes but doesn't take into account the fact that he uses only one mug at a time that can be easily washed between soup meals.   So there are mugs from Egypt, New York, Inverell (a country town in Australia), one P&O mug, one from each of the Holland America cruises they have been on and one from Papua New Guinea just to name a few.   Mother also brought back a mug for each of her daughters.  Luckily they were beautiful and from one of our favourite stores.  

In conclusion, Mum and Dad, please PLEASE stop wasting your money on trashy souvenir mugs.  They will not be considered family heirlooms.  

Oh my!

This post goes out to all the little children out there that I have had the pleasure of knowing and teaching.  This is a response to your questions and comments about life.

• Yes, some people do have big bottoms.
• Just because you are a boy doesn't mean you can't love your pink socks and purple boots.
• No, I am not having a baby.
• Thank you for the drawing of your Daddy after he had a vasectomy.
• Please stop smelling my hair, it's a little creepy.
• Sure you can call yourself Pam from now on but I really think Jonah is a good name and it's the one your Mummy gave you when you were born.  You also really must go home with your Aunty when she picks you up from preschool.  You might have changed your name but you haven't changed families.  
• Thank you for saying I am beautiful and I am your favourite teacher.  You've made my day.
• Please pull your pants back up.
• I really wish you hadn't told me that Mummy and Daddy have a shower together.  It's going to be a little awkward talking to them from now on.
• Shovels are not for throwing, friends! Neither are Tonka trucks!
• I'm not sure that you should be telling me that Mummy's man friend comes over when Daddy's at work.